Being an Avon Mom: Having Faith
I am normally not one to share too much about my personal life, especially when it comes to anything I am currently going through. I know I’ve talked about my cancer journey and dealing with depression, but those were written when I had overcome them. When I was in a good place. Today, I am going to be talking about the journey I am currently on and how I am making a conscious choice to stay positive and have faith in whatever God has planned for me.
For me & my boys, 2020 has been a year of healing & moving on to the next chapter of our lives…
For those of you who don’t know, 2019 was a very difficult year for us between me being diagnosed with Stage III Hodgkin’s Lymphoma Cancer and going through a divorce with my husband of 11 years. If you really want to know more details, you can check out my December 2019 monthly blog where I reflect on 2019.
… And for the most part, we have been successful with it. Yeah, we’ve had some bumps in the road and things we’ve had to work through, but we did so together and we came on top through it all. For the first time in my adult life, I am self sufficient and I love who I am and the life I have created.
Because of this, I am tempted to get really really mad. I am tempted to just break down & cry and feel sorry for myself. But I’ve come too far. I have fought too hard to get to where I am today and to show my boys that they too can get through anything life throws at them… and right now, I am going to show them once again this very thing.
This past Friday, I had to meet with a specialist in regards to the activity that they found on my annual CT scan & PET scan. As a cancer survivor, there is a follow up protocol that must be followed and I have been doing it, no matter how much I am sick of doctors & appointments & blood work. But because of me doing this, I am hopefully going to be able to deal with whatever is wrong with me.
The specialist told me that there could be one of three things going on with me… two of them being a form of cancer. Being a cancer survivor… This is not what you want to hear, especially only being a year in remission. The memories of it all are still very clear. The constant nausea. The never ending fatigue. The loss of control of what is going on with your body & your life as a whole.
As I said, normally this is not a post I would do, but I know I am not alone in being afraid of the future. I know I am not alone in wondering why I am the one continually having to go through obstacles no matter how hard I try to do the right thing…. You are not alone. I’m not alone. Everyone goes through trials & tribulations through out their lifetime and most of the time it’s not when it’s convenient for us.
What I do know is that I will be able to get through whatever God has planned for me because I have faith that thee is a reason… there is a method to His madness. Looking back on everything I went through in 2019, I would not be the self sufficient single mom who is proud of who she is without it. The obstacles we face are what make us better people. They are what gets us to where we need to be. We may not understand it as we go through it, trust me I didn’t understand last year when I was in the trenches.
I am making the conscious choice to stay positive. I am choosing to see the brighter side of things. I am choosing to look forward to when I overcame this obstacle and being proud of being the warrior I am. Remember, life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it….
So how are you going to react?